Eulogy for My Dearly Loved Mother

 My eulogy at the funeral of my dearly loved mom, Betty Jo Tolliver -- May 21, 2025

These days Facebook and social media are used in all kinds of ways – many of them kind of weird, and many not too helpful.  But every now and then people do use them for good reasons and in encouraging, edifying kinds of ways.  

I was reminded of that very poignantly when I started to read people’s comments about my dear Mom on my post that told of her passing.  The posts and comments described her as kind and sweet and funny and reminded me of my mom and her life during her much happier days.   

I think I appreciated that all the more because I, along with my sister, Karen, have, these last several weeks and months, and even during the last few years, watched as Mom suffered more and more and grew more and more unhappy.   

It was the unhappiness that came with some difficult complications after her colon cancer surgery many years ago, and the unhappiness of realizing that some things she longed for in this life were probably just never going to happen.

And then there was the deep, deep sadness of losing her dearly loved husband, Paul who left this world, it seemed to us, way too soon.

Then before too long there was the unhappiness that came with her gradually deepening dementia accompanied by news of stage 4 breast cancer.  

There was the sadness that went with her lifelong, quiet struggle with bouts of depression.  And then in recent weeks she would, sorry to say, consider it a real cause for unhappiness to leave her much loved home, and her times surveying the neighborhood from her front porch, and make the move to assisted living near Becky and me in Lansing.

It was very hard to try to make her happy in those days, and to have to watch, instead, as she descended day by day deeper into sadness and into the confused dismay cruelly comes with dementia.  There were still some bright and more contented moments, but there were fewer and fewer of them.

So as I said, once she had passed – and how that happened, and happened so quickly is not the story to tell today – but again, once I had posted on Facebook that she had died, I was caught off guard by how encouraged and heartened I was  to see the comments about my beautiful, kind and well-loved mother, along with the shared remembrances of much better times when she had been so much more happy and hopeful….

So many of those times were times spent with family – she loved to connect occasionally with relatives from Bethel and Georgetown.  (Her mother was one of 13 children!)   

…But even more she loved to be with her children – Karen, Gary and me – and her grandchildren, and she had a special place in her heart for her great-grandchildren.  

She was so proud of her grandsons, loved spending time with them, and prayed and hoped so deeply that they would be able to live happy lives.

And then there were all the happy, good and meaningful times with her beloved husband, Paul.  Lots of times they’d be golfing together, often with their good friends, Sandy and Gary.  

Or maybe it would be at special events like the annual Corn Festival, helping out a bit in making the delicious apple butter with the Tolliver clan – a time when she could team up with Paul in a cornhole competition or catch up on news of friends and family with Ruth and Velma.  And mom always loved  a good parade.

Mom and Paul would take all kinds of day trips, or watch one of the grandson’s little league games, or the school and sporting events of Natalie and Michelle.    

They’d do puzzles, play cards, or croquet or ping pong. Or maybe it would be dominoes with Kim and Art – a match that would sometimes end with Art so magnanimously reminding my mom that’ ‘there’s no shame in losing to a superior player.’   (But seriously for a moment, Kim and Art have continued to be so kind and thoughtful to mom, right to the end. )  

Mom and Paul enjoyed vacations together -- sometimes to Florida, or to the practice rounds at the Masters, or one time out west, with Mom’s father, Joe.

In addition to all this, a lot of my mother’s happiness throughout the happier days came from good times with very good friends.  And in saying that my mind turns right away to her life-long friend, Mary Sue Kamphaus.  

The two became friends in kindergarten and remained really more like sisters year after year, decade after decade, even after Mom moved up to Wilmington years ago.  

They delighted in one another – their interactions and conversations were some of the best things that ever happened in my mother’s life, and she missed her so much when Mary Sue passed just a couple years ago.

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I can’t mention every friend, of course, even though Mom enjoyed them all so much.  But I have to mention one more in particular, and that is her dear and special friend, Jane.  

I’m pretty sure they met when they both worked as waitresses at the L&K restaurant – and from then on they would share so many special times together, a unique friendship with a uniquely shared sense of humor that only special friends can enjoy.  

Betty Jo and Jane were there for each other through good times and bad, one supporting the other when they each needed it most.  

And Jane continued to be that kind of friend to Mom to the very end, trying to help lift her spirits, getting her out of the house when Mom’s opportunities were few, and encouraging her to make the hard choices that she needed to make as she made the move to Lansing.  Friends like that are rare and precious.

But today I also want to express our family’s deep gratitude to my mother’s amazing neighbors.  

Jean, Lloyd and Jane were extraordinarily kind and helpful to my mother, being available to assist and encourage however needed, day after day after day, in all kinds of ways – from keeping her yard in great shape when she could no longer do it herself, to the many trips to the grocery, or the doctor, or the drug store.  

They kept a watchful eye over her, helping her feel safe even once she was widowed and living alone

And there was much more, like taking her for rides that included a crucial stop at Dairy Farmers for an ice cream soda.  

Or taking time for leisurely chats on Mom’s front porch….  And especially generous, Christ-imitating actions,  like being ready when needed to guide her down the steps to their basement when tornadoes might be getting too close.  

These dear neighbors were also my mom’s dear friends, and they were the key reason that she was able to stay in her home as long as she did, and I can never thank them enough.

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But then, as I said, these last few months have been hard and unhappy ones for my mom, and therefore hard days for those of us who loved her and wanted the best for her even once her dementia stole her good judgment and cruelly confused her memory, so that we could not just go along with what she wanted.

During this very difficult time, my sister’s interactions with her – the phone calls where Mom would move back and forth from irrational anger to agitation and despair – with Karen patiently listening and seeking to console (even while experiencing health challenges of her own).  

Those talks would be about the only thing that could calm Mom’s heart, so that she could end the call by telling Karen, “I love you.”

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And as I tried my best to do for Mom whatever needed to be done, I was helped all along the way by some extraordinary friends from Lansing and from the church where I’m privileged to be one of the pastors.  

So many brothers and sisters were praying, and there were at least a dozen of these real-world saints who acted in extraordinarily generous and helpful ways, doing whatever needed to be done to help my mother, and in doing so, being such an enormous help to me.  

I will say more to you in the days ahead, and I hope I’ll have opportunities to be at least half as good a friend to you, as you have most definitely been to me.

But my greatest friend and helper through all of this has been my wife, Becky.  The way she has loved and patiently cared for my mom, especially in times when it was considered unwise for me to connect with Mom, has made me appreciate and love her all the more.

But now, to finish, I want to speak as a Christian believer.  

I have said rather a lot today about Mom’s unhappiness at the end of her life.  But now I need to correct myself.  I should have said, ‘the end of her EARTHLY life’.   

Because, for the Christian – and my Mom’s faith in Christ was simple, but real – the end of life in this world is simply not the end.   In fact, it’s barely the beginning.

The Bible says that, because Christ was raised from death, those united by faith to Him will also be raised and welcomed to be with Him in His glorious kingdom forever.

Since this is a eulogy, and Pastor Hinman is bringing the sermon, I will cut to the chase and say, because of Jesus Christ and His atoning death and victorious resurrection, every soul who trusts in Him is going to end up perfectly and irreversibly happy!

And this new, and enduring and irreversible happiness begins in Heaven – ‘to be absent from the body, is to be present with the Lord’ and ‘in his presence is fulness of joy’.   

Every now and then this past week since she died, a wave of grief can swamp me out of nowhere – and at just those times I try to remind myself of what the Word of God promises and what the saving Grace of God guarantees, and that’s this:  that my mom, who while on this earth often had a very hard time being happy, is now finally and forever, fully and gloriously happy all the time.

Her mind is clear, her eyes are bright again with intelligence and wit, her laughter is free and full, her body is whole and it is now, all the time, every day, ‘well with her soul.’   

Now, even she who was so addicted to worrying about what evils might lie ahead, has been finally cured of her addiction because, for the Redeemed in glory, there are no more evils ahead – ever.  

Rev. 21:1- 5...

Then I, John, saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, …

2 And I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among men, he will dwell with them. 

They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

5 He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

So it makes me very, very glad, today, even through tears, to think of my mom being perfectly and permanently happy fully included and welcome home in the midst of all the rest of the redeemed, reunited with her beloved Paul, and with so many believing family and friends.   

And there’s no one and no thing that can ever again sabotage or spoil her joy.

I don’t know exactly what her ‘mansion in glory’ looks like – but I do know a few things:  it has a nice wide front porch adorned with beautiful flowers with a bird bath at one end and a metal pink flamingo from Lowe’s at the other….and there’s not a leashless dog in sight!

And to be honest, when I was thinking of all this the other night – thinking about how the great and gracious Lord Jesus could take an often troubled and worried and agitated person like my Mom, and bring her to a place and perfect her into a person who is now forever glad, it struck me very deeply:   what a wonderful Savior He must be.  What a glorious Savior He is!

(Love you, Mom!)

Repentance -- Unconditional Turning to God

 “The whole proclamation of Jesus…is a proclamation of unconditional turning to God, of unconditional turning from all that is against God, not merely that which is downright evil, but that which in a given case makes total turning to God impossible…. [cp. the rich young ruler]

“It is addressed to all without distinction and presented with unmitigated severity in order to indicate the only way of salvation there is.

“Repentance calls  for total surrender, total commitment to the will of God….  It embraces the whole walk of the new man who is claimed by the divine lordship.  It carries with it the founding of a new personal relation of man to God….  It awakens joyous obedience for a life according to God’s will.”

-- "Repentance" (Theological Dictionary of the New Testament)

What Is Repentance?

 "Repentance" (metanoia), acc. to the “Theological Dictionary of the New Testament” (Kittel):

“[Repentance is a] radical conversion, a transformation of nature, a definitive turning from evil, a resolute turning to God in total obedience (Mk.1:15; Mt.4:17; 18:3)….  This conversion is once for all.  There can be no going back, only advance in responsible movement along the way now taken.  It affects the whole man, first and basically the center of personal life, then logically his conduct at all times and in all situation, his thoughts, words and acts (Mt. 12:33ff. par; 23:26; Mk.7:15 par.).

“The whole proclamation of Jesus…is a proclamation of unconditional turning to God, of unconditional turning from all that is against God, not merely that which is downright evil, but that which in a given case makes total turning to God impossible….

“It is addressed to all without distinction and presented with unmitigated severity in order to indicate the only way of salvation there is.

“Repentance calls for total surrender, total commitment to the will of God….  It embraces the whole walk of the new man who is claimed by the divine lordship.  It carries with it the founding of a new personal relation of man to God….  It awakens joyous obedience for a life according to God’s will.”

"Amazing Grace" (full version)

 "Amazing Grace" (extended version)

John Newton’s Full Poem

(from which we get the hymn, "Amazing Grace")

In evil long I took delight,

unawed by shame or fear;

Till a new object met my sight,

and stopped my wild career:

I saw One hanging on a tree

in agonies and blood;

Who fixed His languid eyes on me

as near His cross I stood.

Sure, never till my latest breath

can I forget that look;

It seemed to charge me with His death,

though not a word He spoke.

My conscience felt and owned the guilt,

and plunged me in despair;

I saw my sins His blood had shed,

and helped to nail Him there.

Alas, I knew not what I did,

but all my tears were vain;

Where could my trembling soul be hid,

for I, the Lord, had slain!

A second look He gave that said,

"I freely all forgive!"

"This blood is for thy ransom paid,

I died that thou mayest live!"

Amazing grace,

how sweet the sound,

that saved a wretch like me,

I once was lost, but now am found,

was blind, but now I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

and grace my fears relieved;

How precious did that grace appear

the hour I first believed!

Thro' many dangers, toils and snares

I have already come:

'Tis grace hath bro't me safe thus far,

and grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me,

His Word my hope secures;

He will my shield and portion be,

as long as life endures.

Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,

and mortal life shall cease;

I shall possess within the veil,

a life of joy and peace.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,

the sun forbear to shine;

But God Who called me here below

shall be forever mine.

-- John Newton

Is Herod a Part of Your Version of the Christmas Story?

 Is Herod a Part of Your Christmas Story?

Matthew 2:3  "When King Herod heard this [about the birth of Jesus] he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him...."

“Christ is the peace of the righteous, the trouble of the wicked.” (P. Quesnel)

I think it's worth being reminded that you can’t tell ‘the Christmas story’ faithfully without including the story of Herod, and the diabolical role he played in the events surrounding the birth of the “Christ [=King] child.”  Herod reminds that in many ways the story of the human race is the story of the contest and conflict between the seed of the serpent and the seed of the woman (Gen. 3:15).  And so, Cain rose up and slew Abel.  It is the war between ‘flesh’ and Spirit, between the kingdom of darkness and the kingdom of light.  Herod is what we would all be, were it not for the restraining effects of God’s grace and truth.

The ‘Herodian impulse’ is one of envy, paranoia, resentment and rage, deceit, dishonest, manipulation, maneuvering and the unspeakable murder of innocent children (because one of them was the Rival [Rightful] King).

Herod, of course, was a monster – his ‘sin nature’ was acted out in the extreme.   But the ultimate truth is, every one of us has ‘Herod’ living inside us, and unless we resist and repent, enabled by God’s redeeming grace, every one of us goes deeper into the sinful self-centeredness and hatefulness that makes us more and more monstrous ourselves – less and less loving, and kind, less and less compassionate and caring, and more and more troublesome and toxic to those around us.

We want to be the center of things – we want to reign and rule – in our family relations, in the place where we work, and even in the churches where we ‘worship’ and ‘serve.’

And make no mistake – we are faced with the choice that Herod faced – will we bow the knee to the true and rightful King?   Will repent?  Will we turn from the sinful, self-centeredness that expresses itself in our own envy, resentment, manipulating and, yes, ‘murders’ (see Matt. 5:21-22; 1 John 3:12, 14-15).

In fact, when you trace of the Story through the New Testament, the murderous assaults of the Herods continued throughout the rest of the ‘story of Jesus’, didn’t they?  (Ask John the Baptist.)   It was a Herod who teamed up with Pilate to finally accomplish what his grandfather failed to do.  The murder that mis-fired so  tragically in Bethlehem succeeded brutally just outside of Jerusalem.

Herod was the Serpent’s Agent for carrying out the crushing of the heel of the seed of the Woman – and so on Golgotha it looked like the Herods of the world will win out after all….

…But three days later it didn’t look like that at all anymore.  Jesus accomplished the ultimate defeat  of Satan, our Adversary and Accuser, by His substitutionary work on the cross that crushed the Serpent’s head, dealing him the fatal blow (see Col. 3:13-15)

But one of the greatest mysteries of the Christian faith is that, while the Lord Jesus did indeed mete out what would be the mortal blow against the Evil One, His victory will not be finally manifested until He comes again.  In fact, the apostle John, even on this side of the Cross, says the whole world (still) lies under the power of the Wicked One (1 John 5:19).

And so we find the conflict between the kingdoms playing out in the Book of Acts.  Yet another Herod arrests and murders James the brother of John.  He also arrests Peter, but an angel of the Lord miraculously delivers Peter from jail.  And in fact, not much later, after a prideful, God-defying speech, “…an angel of the Lord struck [Herod] down, and he was eaten with worms and died.”  Wow.   And what does Luke write next?  “But the word of God continued to increase and spread.”  (Acts 12:23-24).

And so this irreconcilable war continues and will continue until the end of the Age.  “In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evil people and will go from bad to worse….” (2 Tim. 3:12-13).

But our “blessed hope is the appearing in glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ” (Titus 2:13), at the end of the age when the kingdom of this world becomes the kingdom of our Lord and of his Christ.   And He shall reign forever and ever.  Hallelujah! (Rev. 11:15).  (By the way the action described in the favorite Christmas carol, “Joy to the World”, is actually about his SECOND Coming of Christ.

But the Bible makes it unmistakably clear that the return of Jesus Christ to reign and to rule begins with the awesome/aweful work of final Judgment, when everyone who lived out their allegiance to Christ, the rightful King, in love, kindness, compassion, honesty, righteousness will receive their reward and commendation, entering into the endless joys of the kingdom of God….

…But this will also be the time when every Herod gets what’s coming to him.  For everyone who was self-seeking and self-serving, following the way of evil, there will be wrath and anger, trouble and distress (Rom. 2:8-9).  And the judgment will be specific – repayment for specific acts of sinning.  In fact the Lord Jesus himself said, “I tell you that people will have to give account on the day of judgment for every useless word they have spoken [or typed, or posted, or tweeted, etc.]”  (Matt. 12:36).   The Lord will be the avenger on that day for every person abused, even when the abusive person thought they had gotten away with it (cp. 1 Thess. 4:6; 2 Tim. 4:14).  Ironically, even warnings like this will make a Herod even madder and meaner, but that will only mean a sterner recompense on the say Christ comes to judge.

So, strange as it may seem, we really do need to included Herod in our telling of the Christmas story, for that is the way to include the essential reality of our sin and evil, guilt and slavery to sin (which the classic Christmas carols include as well).   Only those who are honest about the darkness are going to pay attention to talk of a kingdom of light.  The urgent message, summons and invitation of the full Story of Christ includes the call to sincere repentance and faith, so that we may be “transferred from the dominion of darkness into the kingdom of the Son [the Father] loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins”  (Col. 1:13-14).

Real repentance includes turning from all our Herod-like tendencies and twistedness  and entering into the life of the Spirit of Christ – the real and rightful King who will rule the world in truth and grace and make the nations prove [by experience] the glories of His righteousness and wonders of His love!

Complete Submission and Unqualified Allegiance

 “Any offer of the Gospel that does not make plain the need for complete submission and unqualified allegiance to Jesus Christ is not biblical….” 

– David Wells, “Turning to God” p. 123

Calvin on Conversion (Wholly in Subjection to God)

 "Only the man who has learned to put himself wholly in subjection to God is truly converted to Him." 

-- John Calvin, (on 1 Thess. 1:9)

Spurgeon on True Conversion (That Jesus Should Be King Over You)

 'Note the business on hand—it is that Jesus should be King over you. ...Jesus must be King or He cannot be your Savior. Thousands of people are quite willing to be saved by Christ, but when it comes to the first step, namely, that Jesus must be accepted as Ruler, Lawgiver, Master, King, and Lord, then they start back and reject eternal life—

“Yet know (nor of the terms complain),
Where Jesus comes, He comes to reign;
To reign, and with no partial sway;
Thoughts must be slain that disobey.”

 'The whole question of your being saved or lost will turn on this—if Jesus is not your King, then the devil will remain enthroned in your heart and you will remain a lost soul. But if your heart will yield itself up to the supreme authority of King Jesus, then the work of salvation has already commenced and Jesus will take care to purge your nature of all His enemies until you shall be an empire in which He alone shall reign in holiness and peace. Jesus must be king! What do you say, sir, shall it be so? Do you hesitate about it? He must be your Lord and Master. His will must be your will. His commands must be law to you and His example must henceforth be the model of your life. Do you disagree or will you yield at once?...

'...And here is the point, if Jesus is to reign, the old king must go down. It is of no use trying to have [Sin and Christ] on the throne at the same time. It is impossible to serve sin and to serve Christ. Favorite and constitutional sins must be relinquished. I know many persons who say that they are under concern of soul whose sincerity I more than question, because they continue in known sin and yet they complain that they cannot find peace. How can they?...

'...The main point, however, is to do it—really and at once make Christ Jesus your King. And to this end we must believe in Him or trust Him. It is this trusting Jesus Christ which is the essential point, for out of it grows the repentance which renounces every false way. When a man fully and honestly trusts Christ with his soul, he is enabled from that time forward to hate the sin which he once loved and so he wins the mastery over it. He finds a joy in submitting to the holy reign of Jesus because he has already trusted Him and believes that he is saved. But alas! many of you do not believe..."

-- from his sermon entitled, "Now Then Do It"

Billy Graham on Necessity and Nature of Repentance

“If repentance could be described in one word, I would use the word renounce. ‘Renounce what?’ you ask. The answer can also be given in one word – ‘sin.’…

“Not only are we told that we must renounce the principle of sin but we are also to renounce sins – plural. We are to renounce the world, the flesh and the Devil. There can be no bargaining, compromise or hesitation. Christ demands absolute renunciation…..

“…repentance and faith go hand in hand. You cannot have genuine repentance without saving faith and you cannot have saving faith without repentance….

“…[To repent] means a great deal more than just regretting and feeling sorry about sin. The Biblical word repent means ‘to change, to turn.’ It is a word of power and action. It is a word that signifies a complete revolution in the individual. 

“When the Bible calls upon us to repent of sin, it means that we should turn away from sin, that we should do an about-face and walk in the opposite direction from sin and all that it implies….

“….True repentance means ‘to change, to turn away from, to go in a new direction.’ To be sorry is not enough in repentance….

“….repentance cannot take place unless first there is a movement of the Holy Spirit in the heart and mind….”

“….There must be a determination to forsake sin – to change one’s attitudes toward self, toward sin, and God; to change one’s feelings; to change one’s will, disposition and purpose.

“Only the Spirit of God can give you the determination necessary for true repentance….

“There is not one verse of Scripture that indicates you can be a Christian and live any kind of a life you want to. When Christ enters into the human heart, He demands that He be Lord and Master. He demands complete surrender….

“…He must have first place in everything you do or think or say, for when you truly repent you turn toward God in everything.

“We have the warning of Christ that He will not receive us into His kingdom until we are ready to give up all, until we are ready to turn from all sin in our lives. Don’t try to do it part way. Don’t say, ‘I’ll give up some of my sins and hang on to some others. I’ll live part of my life for Jesus and part for my own desires.’”

“God demands a total change, a total surrender.”

[cp. Matt. 12:41 --> Jonah 3:5f.; Matt. 4:17/Mk. 1:15; Lk. 24:46; Acts 2:38; 5:31; 11:18; 17:30-31; 20:21; 26:20; cp. Rom. 2:5

Adopted by God for Fellowship with Him

 James Stewart:

"Paul perceived that a Gospel which broke the bondage of legalism, and ended the tyrant sway of principalities and powers, and remitted sin's fearsome penalties, and brought up reinforcements for cowed and beaten human wills, and then stopped there, was no Gospel worthy of the name.  Great and marvelous achievements these all might be; but over and above them all, one thing was needful, one thing without which all the other glories of redemption must remain sterile and unavailing--the restoration of the lost fellowship with God.  Man wants more than the remission of his sins, more than an escape from inward accusations...more than a ransom from the wrath to come.  He wants to be right with God.  He wants to be back in the family again.  He wants, in a word, reconciliation.  Any Gospel that offers itself to a sinning, suffering world must stand and be tested here.  This is the real test.  It is, quite literally, the 'crucial' test:  for at the heart of it lies a cross." – "A Man in Christ"

J. I. Packer:

Paul teaches that the gift of justification (i.e., present acceptance by God as the world’s Judge) brings with it the status of sonship by adoption (i.e., permanent intimacy with God as one’s heavenly Father, Gal. 3:26; 4:4-7). In Paul’s world, adoption was ordinarily of young adult males of good character to become heirs and maintain the family name of the childless rich. Paul, however, proclaims God’s gracious adoption of persons of bad character to become “heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ” (Rom. 8:17).

Justification is the basic blessing, on which adoption is founded; adoption is the crowning blessing, to which justification clears the way. Adopted status belongs to all who receive Christ (John 1:12). The adopted status of believers means that in and through Christ God loves them as he loves his only-begotten Son and will share with them all the glory that is Christ’s now (Rom. 8:17, 38-39). Here and now, believers are under God’s fatherly care and discipline (Matt. 6:26; Heb. 12:5-11) and are directed, especially by Jesus, to live their whole lives in light of the knowledge that God is their Father in heaven. They are to pray to him as such (Matt. 6:5-13), imitate him as such (Matt. 5:44-48; 6:12, 14-15; 18:21-35; Eph. 4:32-5:2), and trust him as such (Matt. 6:25-34), thus expressing the filial instinct that the Holy Spirit has implanted in them (Rom. 8:15-17; Gal. 4:6).

Adoption and regeneration accompany each other as two aspects of the salvation that Christ brings (John 1:12-13), but they are to be distinguished. Adoption is the bestowal of a relationship, while regeneration is the transformation of our moral nature. Yet the link is evident; God wants his children, whom he loves, to bear his character, and takes action accordingly.

—J. I. Packer, Concise Theology: A Guide to Historic Christian Beliefs (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House, 1993), 167-168.

Faith Credited as Righteousness

 “Abram believed the LORD, and he credited it to him as righteousness” (Gen 15:6). Abram’s faith is simple and profound: he believed God’s promises, taking God at his word. And that faith, in God’s eyes, was credited as righteousness. This does not mean that Abram earned brownie points for deploying such a righteous faith.  

"Rather, the idea is that what God demands of his image-bearers, what he has always demanded, is righteousness—but in this sinful race what he accepts, crediting it as righteousness, is faith, faith that acknowledges our dependence upon God and takes God at his word. This faith of Abram is what makes him the 'father' of those who believe (Rom. 4; Gal.3)."

– D.A. Carson, “For the Love of God” devotional book

Complete Submission...Unqualified Allegiance

 "Any offer of the Gospel that does not make plain the need for complete submission and unqualified allegiance to Jesus Christ is not biblical." 

-- David Wells, "Turning to God"

Take up the cross and follow Him

 "The image of the cross signifies a total claim on the disciple's allegiance and the total relinquishment of his resources to Jesus....

"When confronted by the call to discipleship, disciples do not have a 'both...and' choice -- both Christ and their own lives.  They stand before an 'either...or' choice.  The claim of Jesus is a total and exclusive one.   It does not allow a convenient compartmentalization of natural life and religious life, of secular and sacred.

"The whole person stands under Christ's claim."

-- James R. Edwards, on Mark 8:34-35 (Pillar New Testament Commentary)

John Murray on Faith

 "...faith in Christ is not a momentary and fleeting act of will.  Faith is an act of commitment to Christ and it results in permanent attachment to him.  It knows not divided allegiance.  

"It is total commitment in love and devotion because we discover in him that which demands our whole being.  

"Faith means Christ’s  absolute Lordship and it is significant that it is the title Lord that is employed and thrust into the foreground – ‘if  anyone does not love the Lord’….”  

-- John Murray, sermon on 1 Cor. 16:22:  “Love to Christ Indispensable”

Trusting God When Life Hurts

 "In order to trust God [in the midst of hardship], we must always view our adverse circumstances through the eyes of faith, not of sense. And just as the faith of salvation comes through hearing the message of the gospel (see Romans 10:17), so the faith to trust God in adversity comes through the Word of God alone. It is only in the Scriptures that we find an adequate view of God's relationship to and involvement in our painful circumstances. It is only from the Scriptures, applied to our hearts by the Holy Spirit, that we receive the grace to trust God in adversity."

-- Jerry Bridges. "Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts"

What if we really found Him?

 “There comes a moment when the children who have been playing at burglars hush suddenly: was that a real footstep in the hall? There comes a moment when people who have been dabbling in religion (‘ Man’s search for God’!) suddenly draw back. Supposing we really found Him? … Worse still, supposing He had found us?” 

-- C.S. Lewis

"Soon I will see the lines on His face."

 "I am early in my story, but I believe I will stretch out into eternity, and in heaven I will reflect upon these early days, these days when it seemed God was down a dirt road walking toward me. Years ago he was a swinging speck in the distance; now He is close enough I can hear His singing. Soon I will see the lines on His face." 

-- Donald Miller

John Owen on True Christian Experience

 "...They know nothing of the life and power of the gospel, nothing of the reality of the grace of God, nor do they believe aright one article of the Christian faith, whose hearts are not sensible of the love of Christ herein. Nor is he sensible of the love of Christ, whose affections are not therein drawn out unto him. 

"I say, they make a pageant of religion . . . whose hearts are not really affected with the love of Christ, in the susception [taking to oneself] and discharge of the work of mediation, so as to have real and spiritually sensible affections for him. 

"Men . . . have no real acquaintance with Christianity, who imagine that the placing of the most intense affections of our souls on the person of Christ, the loving him with all our hearts because of his love, our being overcome thereby, until we are sick [from] love, the constant motions of our souls towards him with delight and adherence, are but fancies and imaginations."

-- John Owen, quoted by J.I. Packer in "A Quest for Godliness", p. 196

"Preach Like Hell Lasts Forever" -- Sinclair Ferguson

Preach Like Hell Lasts Forever:  Why We Must Warn — Through Tears

Article by Sinclair Ferguson

Professor, Reformed Theological Seminary

Sometimes sitting beside a wall in our congregation’s building in Dundee, Scotland, I ask, in my imagination, if the wall could replay for me what it heard preached in past days. For here, one Sunday, probably in early 1843, the young minister, still in his twenties (and with but months left of his brief life) entered the pulpit having written these words in his journal the week before:

As I was walking in the fields, the thought came over me with almost overwhelming power, that every one of my flock must soon be in heaven or hell. Oh, how I wished that I had a tongue like thunder, that I might make all hear; or that I had a frame like iron, that I might visit every one, and say, “Escape for thy life!” Ah, sinners! You little know how I fear that you will lay the blame of your damnation at my door. (Memoirs and Remains of R. M. M ‘Cheyne, 1892, 148)

The same Robert Murray M’ Cheyne (our “founding pastor”; he died at the age of 29) met up with Andrew Bonar one Monday, and learning that his close friend had preached on the subject of hell, asked if he had preached it with tears.

These two comments model for us the necessity that is laid on those who preach the gospel (and give us all a vital reason to pray for them).

Preaching Both Heaven and Hell

There can be no doubt that the overarching and undergirding theme of M’Cheyne’s ministry was the sheer wonder of the love of the Lord Jesus Christ for lost sinners. But in his teens, he realized that the gospel only produces a full sense of that wonder when we have learned why it is so necessary and are conscious of the terrible realities from which Christ came to save us. A sense of the awful nature of hell and the ineffable wonder of the love of Jesus go hand in hand in the gospel message — in the preaching of it, and in the preacher himself.

By nature, we resist the stretching of mind and emotions that this involves. Preachers tend to be emotionally “wired” to one or the other emphasis — strong and bold in preaching hell but weaker in exalting the love of Christ, or favoring the love of Christ but diluting it by minimizing the reality of the hell. And sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that true biblical balance is found “somewhere in the middle.” In Scripture, however, the true balance is found by the stretching of our understanding and affections in both directions.

On the one hand — like the slow-thinking medieval pupil Boso, a millennium later — we need to hear the echo of the words of his monk-master, Anselm: “You have not yet considered the greatness of the weight of sin.” But on the other hand, we should never make the mistake of under-contemplating Anselm’s main theme: Cur Deus Homo — who it was, how it was, and why it was, that the Son of God entered the darkness of the womb of the virgin Mary and died for us in the darkness of the cross of Calvary.

Preaching from the Judgment Seat

How are we to nurture this “balance” in the ministry of the word? First and foremost, we need to hear our Lord and his apostles addressing us in the Scriptures.

We must contemplate the fact that we must all stand before the judgment seat of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:10), and in that light see the wonder of the reconciliation and new creation that are ours in him (2 Corinthians 5:17–21). This is what produces in us “the fear of the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:11) that will open our mouths with gracious boldness to “persuade” our hearers (2 Corinthians 5:11), to appeal to them to “be reconciled to God” (2 Corinthians 5:20), and to show them why and how this wonder has been made possible by Christ becoming sin for us (22 Corinthians 5:21).

Contemplating the judgment seat of Christ sobers our hearts. Then we discover, with John Owen, that the sermons that go with most power from us will be those that have come with most power to us. There is no substitute for visiting the scene of the Last Assize and meditating on the judgment that will take place there. It will assess the reality of our lives (“according to truth,” Romans 2:2) in a way that is righteous (Romans 2:5), individual (Romans 2:6), altogether without favouritism (Romans 2:11), and permanent (Romans 2:12).

Death Without Death

Then, further meditation on the implications of our Lord’s teaching (and the apostles’ outworking of it according to Matthew 28:19–20) will engage us in yet deeper soul-diagnosis and consequent surgery. We will find ourselves mentally and emotionally undeceived. For the result of judgement for those who have not believed is set before us in stark, emotion-laden descriptions.

The unbeliever will experience separation from God — being sent “outside” (Matthew 8:12; 22:13; 25:29) and “away from the presence of the Lord” (2 Thessalonians 1:9). It is a fire that burns eternally (Matt. 25:42; Jude 7) that is also an “outer darkness” (Matthew 8:12), where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth (Matthew 22:13). It involves dissolution (“destruction,” Matthew 7:13; 10:28; Romans 9:22; Philippians 3:19; 1 Thessalonians 5:2). Dante caught the despair of this in The Divine Comedy in the words he has inscribed over the entrance to hell: “All hope abandon ye who enter here.” Perhaps most sobering of all, it is everlasting (2 Thessalonians 1:8-9).

No wonder the Puritan Thomas Brooks cried out,

Oh, but this word 'eternity, eternity, eternity'; this word 'everlasting, everlasting, everlasting'; this word 'forever, forever, forever', will even break the hearts of the damned in ten thousand pieces! Oh, that word 'never', said a poor despairing creature on his death-bed, breaks my heart. . . . Impenitent sinners in hell shall have end without end, death without death, night without day, mourning without mirth, sorrow without solace, and bondage without liberty. The damned shall live as long in hell as God himself shall live in heaven. (Works of Thomas Brooks, 5:130)

Emotionally Intolerable

Some readers will recall how, from around 1988 into the early 1990s, the late John R.W. Stott was “jumped on” when his long-held openness to annihilationism became more public knowledge. With respect to everlasting punishment, he wrote, “Emotionally, I find the concept intolerable” (Evangelical Essentials, 314).

Even if we do not share his exegesis and the theology to which it gave rise, should we not share his emotions? For the biblical doctrine of hell strips us emotionally bare. Is it perhaps true that the reason for the metallic nature of some preaching on hell has lain precisely here: we have not felt its sheer unbearableness. Can the sense of edge, or coldness, or the compassionless, even angry-voiced way we preach on it be an indication not of our sense of its reality, but rather that its truth has never broken our hearts? Has listening to such preaching been accompanied in your case, as in mine, by the painful thought that we ourselves may also sound like that?

“Emotionally . . . intolerable”? This is not necessarily unbelief. Indeed, if we have not ourselves felt this, would we not too have been asleep on the outskirts of the Garden of Gethsemane? For the New Testament gives us some indication that the one of whom Luther wrote, “No man feared death like this man,” found the hell he faced there “emotionally intolerable.”

‘My God, My God’

The Evangelists’ descriptions suggest what Luther says about Christ. Luke tells us that it was after and not before the angel strengthened him that “being in an agony he prayed more earnestly and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling on the ground” (Luke 22:43–44).

Perhaps even more telling is the raw language used by Mark: Jesus “began to be greatly distressed and troubled” and “very sorrowful” (Mark 14:33–34). The verb translated “to be . . . troubled” (adēmonein) is used in the New Testament only here (and the parallel passage in Matthew 26:37) and in Philippians 2:26. As J.B. Lightfoot (a scholar not given to flights of exegetical fancy) notes, it “describes the confused, restless, half-distracted state, which is produced by physical derangement, or by mental distress, as grief, shame, disappointment” (Philippians, 123).

Jesus prayed that the cup his Father was giving him might be removed. His prayer was heard — his prayers were always heard (John 11:42) — but it was refused. For there was no other way (a truth that needs to be pressed firmly on the minds, consciences, and wills of all those who believe they can find another way of salvation, when God the Father could “find” only one).

Jesus prayed “with loud cries and tears” (Hebrews 5:7). It is not an exaggeration, surely, to say that Jesus found his being made sin, tasting death, undergoing divine wrath and experiencing hell in his own separation from God to be “emotionally intolerable.” It undid him in the presence of his Father and the holy angels, and eventually wrung from his soul — by that time tasting “the darkness outside” — these impenetrable words: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

Backdrop and Framework

“But,” you may say, “this is just the gospel.” Exactly! At the heart of the gospel lie heaven and hell. It is the gospel of the One who tasted hell to bring us to heaven. Any lesser emphases make for a lesser gospel. But this gospel is the gospel of “God’s kindness” which is “meant to lead to repentance” (Romans 2:4 — how striking this statement is precisely because it is embedded in an entire chapter on divine judgment and its consequences!).

But this is also the gospel of the preacher (like Paul) whose mind and emotions are stretched. On the one hand, he sheds tears of grief over the consequences of the greatness of the weight of sin in his hearers’ hearts and the destiny to which that will condemn them; and on the other hand, he feels tears of joy at the greatness of the salvation which he offers to sinners in Jesus Christ.

In the nature of the case, hell and heaven are not the explicit themes of every sermon. But if they are not in the foreground, they should always be the backcloth to our preparation, and the framework within which we view our hearers whenever we are preaching.

So, I need to go to my Bible in the presence of God and meditate until this dawns on my mind, my affections, my will, and then emerges on my lips and my preaching. Only then, even if the words “heaven” and “hell” are not mentioned when I preach, it will become clear to my hearers that the ministry of God’s word is of eternal significance for them — and also for me.

The Most Important Task on Earth

By way of conclusion, two comments made to me about preaching come to mind.

The first, some words of William Still of Aberdeen in Scotland. I cannot forget what I felt when he told me, still a young student, “I never preach now without believing that something will happen that will last for all eternity.” That is the faith of the psalmist and of the apostle: “‘I believed, and so I spoke,’ we also believe and so we also speak . . . all for your sake” (2 Corinthians 4:13–15). Who would not want to exercise such a ministry?

Second, some words of a friend, a scientist through whose devoted research people certain otherwise to die within a few weeks were enabled to enjoy prolonged life. Having watched a moving documentary on the result of her work, I said to her how gratifying it must be to see her life’s work making such an amazing impact. She responded very simply, “Sinclair, what I do isn’t really all that important.” And then, with a slight movement of her professorial finger, added, “But what you do. That is really important.”

Words worth weighing. For we are charged with the most important task on earth: pointing men, women, young people, boys and girls to the only Way, to the One who alone can enable them to escape from the City of Destruction and arrive at the Celestial City.

--Sinclair Ferguson is a Ligonier teaching fellow and Chancellor’s Professor of Systematic Theology, Reformed Theological Seminary.

This Is God's Universe

 “This is God’s universe, and God does things his way. You may [think you] have a better way, but you don’t have a universe.”

-- J. Vernon McGee